grellshitei:

Grell didn’t want to think anymore. She didn’t want to listen to all the voices in her mind telling her to run, to push this away before it got to close to her heart again; just like it always had. How foolish that she should ignore them once again. 

That’s the way she was though; despite the pains that came from letting Eric so close to her heart, she still wanted him there. His gentle touch that could easily rip her to shreds; she played dangerous games with her own heart. 

Eric felt so familiar, but not in the way that way that other things felt familiar; no, with other things you could say they were familiar but you didn’t want them back because they hurt you, it wasn’t that way with Eric. He was the familiar that more often than not felt like home, like warmth, like love. She always needed him, no matter what she might’ve said. 

She had always seemed so small compared to him, with others she hated looking small, but with Eric she craved it. She wanted to know that he was safe even for her, and in some ways he was. If she ever had need of him all she’d had to do was call for him and he would sweep her way into his protective embrace, but other times having him so close meant that she got wounds of her own. How could she still love him so much?

It didn’t matter how, just that she did. 

His words spoke true of his mind as always, trying to live for the moment. However she knew that she had to think of the morning; even if she never thought about anything else, never thought anything else through, she knew that in the morning he would’ve already put her and her heart out of his mind. 

“Eric please…you’re talking about right now, but right now isn’t going to last long…Don’t promise me right now when I’m not even sure right now is going to happen…your love has always been enough for me…but I don’t know if mine has ever been enough for you.”  she murmured a mere hair’s breadth away from his lips, eyes shut as tears rolled from them.

Even intoxicated, Eric couldn’t forget the growing list of ways he had managed to disappoint her; his aloof disposition, taste for liquor, selfishness, and extreme aversion to romantic intimacy made them a terrible long-term match. He knew that he could never truly and unconditionally love her. He knew it in every bone, felt it in every microfiber of his Eric-ness. And in her teary eyes, he saw that she could no longer bear the burden of his embraces and empty promises. 

“I kno’ plen’y,” Eric replied gruffily. “I kno’ tha’ ye an’ I dinnae do well t’gether, or apart.” With all of his will power, he resisted closing the space between them. On the tip of his tongue he could already taste her. He could feel the low vibrations of her insatiable cries against his lips. “S’ why dinnae ye jus’, jus’ give in tae me, Grellie. Give me wha’ we both wan’, an’ I’ll give ye a’ th’ lovin’ ye need t’night.”